The only way to mastery
One author wrote, “I’ve been graded, rated, and ranked. Coached, screened, and scored. I’ve been picked first, last, and not picked at all. And that was just kindergarten."
We swim in a ocean of feedback, but nevertheless people aren’t very good at giving it or receiving it. Something isn’t working.
What doesn’t work is someone pushing their feedback on someone else. Then when it doesn’t work, many people will just push harder. And things just get worse.
It turns out the key to receiving feedback lies in the pulling not the pushing.
When you become a person that pulls feedback to yourself, you will begin mastering skills and learning the things you desire.
The people giving the feedback are not perfect. They may not deliver the feedback well. They might even be off base.
But the thing is, they are all you’ve got.
These imperfect people are the only ones you can get feedback from. Because there are no perfect people. So these imperfect people are the only ones that will help you achieve mastery in your life.
So let’s get over the imperfections of the people and the way they give feedback and start learning from the feedback, because it is the only way to grow and become the best version of yourself.
Let's become people that pull feedback from others. (And then decide what we will do with it.)
And the really good news about feedback in Enjoying Jesus is that the people are for you. The people in this group are generous, loving (and imperfect) people that want to help you enjoy Jesus more.
But that is about the giver of the feedback. The receiver is much more important.
You are a person willing to give feedback to others to help them Enjoy Jesus more. And that makes you precisely the person who will be willing to receive feedback well. If you find it hard to receive feedback at some point, remind yourself that you are precisely the type of person seeking it.
Because you know your heart to help others, you also know others' heart to help you.
A mindset that will help you receive feedback well is to realize that people are giving feedback on your project not on you. Do you see the difference?
They helping you improve your project or your work. They are not attacking or criticizing you as a person. Putting a little separation between you and the work you produce will help your receive feedback on your work.
You are not your work. You are you. And you create your work, write your blog posts, turn in your assignments at school, and your projects at work. When people help you improve your work, that is no threat to you at all. In fact, it is helping you.
But the resistance in us might tell us the feedback is a threat and we should go hide. Play it safe next time. Don't be noticed. Or respond with aggression! Defend it! Attack their work!
Fight or flight is certainly appropriate in life-threatening situations, but we rarely face those dangers in our modern world. Most of us are in no danger of a bear attack at work today. But shipping our work or meeting with a picky client might trigger fight or flight responses.
These deep instincts in us don't really understand what century we live in, so they might respond to feedback on our work like it is a bear attack.
So let us notice when that happens, and speak truth to ourselves. (That is not a bear attack, it is a comment on my blog. It will not eat me.) Then keep moving forward towards mastery.
Also recognize that feedback is different than grading. We are not grading anything in Enjoying Jesus. There is no test. There are no right answers. And the only wrong answers are the ones where you hide or play it safe.
But we are people used to getting grades, so let me go ahead and give you a grade. You have an A.
Because you took the leap to enjoy Jesus more, you got an A before it even began. So you already have the A. It is done.
Now what kind of work will do since you already have the A?